


How I fell in love

by Nina_17



Series: One Shot Drarry [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Declarations Of Love, Draco's POV, Drarry, Falling In Love, Fluff, HEA, Letters to draco, Love, M/M, One Shot, lost diary
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-23
Updated: 2017-08-23
Packaged: 2018-12-19 04:15:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11889792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nina_17/pseuds/Nina_17
Summary: This is how I fell in love.





	How I fell in love

**Author's Note:**

> I have no beta. I hope you enjoy.

Every day this year I've seen him write in that book. In class, in the dining hall, in the 8th year’s common room, and even when walking down the halls. I've never seen him without it. My friends, the few that have returned, and I have been speculating on its content. Some assume it is his form of therapy. Writing down his pain of the war. Some think it's a drawing or sketchbook of some kind. Even though Harry and I have become friends, I don't think I can ask him about it. It drives me crazy not knowing what's in it but unable to ask. I don't think it helped that I was starting to realize how much I was starting to like him, in a non-friends way.

I found it. I found the book. He had left the common room in a rush that morning and it seemed to have fallen under his seat. I saw it there when I picked up the quill I dropped. I knew I should have let it be, but I couldn't help myself. I had to see it. I had to know. My obsession was too much.

_25-7-98_

_Dear Draco,_   
_I haven't seen you in a while, but you are on my mind. You are always there. I find myself wondering what you’re doing, how you're doing. I find myself needing to see you, but I can't not yet. I'm mad at you not for being free, you don't belong in Azkaban. I'm mad that you let your father manipulate you and your mother again. That you would let him put any blame on you when you were just a child. I know he is your father, but I can see he only wants what's best for him, not you. I am glad he is not in your life right now. I hope you see that you can still have a love for him without following in his footsteps._

_HJP_   
_\--_   
_5-8-98_

_Dear Draco,_   
_I heard you were going back to finish school. I am not sure how I will feel seeing you again. If I'm being honest I wasn't sure I would go back. Ron has decided he should stay with his family. He’s also helping his brother at the shop. Hermione is going back. She wants us all to go back. I went back and forth between going and not going. It wasn't until I knew you were going to be there did I make my choice. I don't know how I feel about that. I don't know how I feel about a lot of things anymore._

_HJP_   
_\--_   
_1-9-98_

_Dear Draco,_   
_I saw you. I looked at you and I felt no hate, no animosity. I didn't need to see if you were up to something. I just wanted to see you and I did. I wanted to be close to you. I don't know how I feel about that. I've been friends with Ron and Hermione for years and as much as I wanted to spend time with them, I've never had a need to just be near them. I thought I felt that once with Ginny but there was too much baggage between us. What does it all mean? I thought I loved her and I do but I'm not in love with her. I feel things when I see you that confuse me. Is it weird that I have these feelings for you? After everything we've been through, is it just leftover undefined feelings or is it real?_

_HJP_

_\--_

_28-9-98_

_Dear Draco,_   
_It doesn't matter where you are my eyes find you. I can feel the air in the room when you walk in even if I can't see you. My heart beats faster when you're in the room or just when think of you. I look at you and I lose myself. I can't keep you out of my mind. I dream of you. Thoughts of you keep the bad dreams away. When I walk into the common room and you're there I find the seat closest to you without looking creepy. I find a seat where I can see you. I can't help myself. All these years I had this pull to look at you. And I looked at you and looked for all the terrible things. I feel ashamed. If I had stopped for one moment and saw all the good. I see now all the good this that I know I overlooked before. I see how you help the younger kids when they are lost. How you help those that ask for help. How you help your friends who are struggling but are too afraid ask. I see these things now, but I saw them before and I am sorry I overlooked them. I feel if I had seen them without prejudice things may have been different. How would our lives be different? Now perhaps you would not have suffered alone. I am sorry. I am so sorry._

_HJP_

_\--_

_17-10-98_

_Dear Draco,_   
_I have tried to define my feeling for you. I have gone over them with a fine-tooth comb. I have compared them to others. I have tried to analyze myself. I have tried to see me through the eyes of others. I have tried to understand myself when I am consumed with you and I don't know what to think I have no answer. My heart and my mind do not agree. I am just as lost and confused as I was before._

_HJP_   
_\--_   
_18-10-98_

_Dear Draco,_   
_I love you._

_HJP_   
_\--_   
_2-11-98_

_Dear Draco,_   
_There has been a weight lifted off my shoulders. Now that I have concluded that I love you and am in fact in love with you. I feel free. I feel like a new person. I've never paid much attention to who I was attracted to. There were people I liked and some more than others. I never felt brave enough to approach anyone before (the irony of that statement didn't escape my notice). The only two times I was in any kind of relationship the other person made the first move. Okay to be completely honest I'm nervous. I have never really been attracted to another guy. I mean I know when they look good and I've never felt weird about it, but it never registered that I thought they were attractive. Now I see a difference. Some people are good looking people but that's it. Some people are good looking and yeah if I wasn't madly in love with you would maybe give them a chance._

_I just realized you may not feel the same way. You may never feel the same way. I am so hopelessly in love and I may never have you. We are barely even friends._

_HJP_   
_\--_

_20-11-98_

_Dear Draco,_   
_I have made some progress. We are now on friendlier terms. You made a passing joke yesterday that made me think you might enjoy the company of boys, but I can't be sure. You spend most of your time with Pansy, but I can't really judge that as I spend most of my time with Hermione and she's like my sister. By the way, I told her. Not really by choice she has a way of getting me to say things I don't want to share. She made me see that things aren't as hopeless I thought. She made me think about what is important to me. I guess what I'm trying to say is no matter what I want you to be happy. I love to see you smile and that is what I want, for you to be happy._

_HJP_

_\--_

I put the book down when I heard a door open. I looked up to see Hermione walking into the common room. I smiled at her trying to be friendly. She smiled then stopped suddenly when she saw the book on the table.

“Where did you get that?” she asked her tone brisk.

“Found it under the chair when I dropped my quill,” I told her. “Not sure who's it is.” I lied, I knew I shouldn't but I didn't want her mad at me for reading Harry’s deepest thoughts. I know it's bad to lie and snoop bit I can't have her mad at me not now.

“Oh well, I think it's Harry’s...” before she finishes I picked up the book and handed it over.

“If it is, then you can give it back. If it's someone else, then it is now your job to find out to whom it belongs” I smiled at her impishly and winked.

“How kind.” She said sarcastically. She was walking away when I stopped her.

“Did you finish the translation for ancient runes?” I asked her quickly.

“Almost done. Why?” I took a deep breath before answering.

“I'm having a tough time with this one and you're the only person I know smarter than me.” She blushed at my words and sat down to help me. I knew that if I gave it a little more effort I could have gotten the answer on my own, but I felt needed to be friendlier with her.

Later that night as I laid in bed I thought about what I had read in Harry's book. I didn't read everything, but I did skim through It. I saw more than I ever thought I would. Never would have thought that Harry would have any romantic feeling towards him.

I had never been in a relationship with either men or women, but I had fooled around with classmates a few times. It had all been playful and rather innocent. We had been too young to dive into anything more serious. I knew that gender was not a factor for me at an early age. If I found someone attractive, then I just did it was that simple. The last few years had been hard, and dating was the last thing on my mind. But That didn't mean didn't notice people. It just wasn't that important. Now was different. Now I had freedom and opportunities I didn't have before. I had yet to find someone I wanted. Most of the students still held me responsible for what happened, and I don't blame them. The few that don't are either taken or not my type.

Harry was a different story. We had spent the better part of 8 years picking fights and arguing. I always knew he was attractive. He had always been just an inch or two shorter than me which I love. And his dark hair makes his light eyes pop. He was always thin but has filled out quite nicely. So yeah, I think he's attractive, but I never gave it much more thought. I mean The Harry Potter would never go for a Malfoy. At least I never thought he would. Now I see I was wrong and I don't really know what to do. I can't just say something, could I?

\--

Most of the school has left for the winter holiday. Harry and I are the only 8th years here. I have tried to be friends. I have made the conscious decision that I really like Harry and I want to see if we could be a couple. I don't know what I should do. I have picked seats that are closest to him without being weird. I start conversations. I've tried flirting. I don't know if I should be the one to make the first move or let him.

\--

I can't take it. He's either going to accept the offer of a date or he won't. At least I will know where I stand.

\--

I walk up to him on Christmas morning.

“Happy Christmas Harry.”

“Happy Christmas Draco.”

“I... I was wondering if you would like to have dinner with me tonight in Hogsmeade? You can pick the place.” He looked at me for a moment.

“Yeah, sure we can hang out.” He says. I sigh.

“No Harry I don't want to hang out.” I see his face fall. I lift his chin to look at me. “I'm asking you out on a date. I want to take you on a date. I want to hold your hand and give you a goodnight kiss before you head off to bed. I want us to eat our meals together and study together. And if all goes well then sometime in the future you can be my boyfriend.” He kissed me. Right then and there. Then he agreed on a date.

And we did eat our meals together. We studied together. And every weekend we would take a walk to Hogsmeade and have a date. We were officially dating by Easter and confessed our love to each other. When school was over he asked me to move in with him. One day after about a year of us living together he brought me the book and told me about it. I told him the truth about finding it and reading some of it. I told him it had given me the courage to ask him out. He kissed me and thanked me for telling him the truth. He asked me to read the rest and I did. I read every letter he wrote me and cried.

\--  
12-8-2000

Dear Draco,  
We have a part of each other's lives for half our lives. We have grown and changed and become better men. We have seen the worst and best of each other and we are stronger for it. We make each other better. We challenge each other. We push each other limits. And we are there when the other falls. I love you every day more and more. Some days I don't like you. Like when you finish the milk and don't tell me or get more. But I always love you. There are days I annoy you. Like when I use your towel and it's wet when you go to use it. But I have never doubted your love. What I want more than anything is for you to be my husband. When I ask I hope you'll say yes?

HJP

\--

I looked up at him, with tears in my eyes. He was sitting next to me holding a beautiful silver band with a small emerald on top.

“Draco will you do me the honour of being my husband?” I couldn't speak. My head bobbed up and down as I pulled him into a kiss. He smiled at me as placed the ring on my finger.

Fin

**Author's Note:**

> Tell me what you think.  
> And thank you for taking your time to read this.


End file.
